Look back on these 2 years, I don’t remember much but the time I sat beside my mom when she lay on the hospital bed. I still remember I was holding her hand and it was warm and turn stone cold right after her last gasp. I guess it’s comforting and a respectful thing to say that she passed away peacefully with no pain. But honestly, I really don’t know that because I am not her.
I haven’t felt peaceful for a long while after that, 2019 is just a glimpse, I was like a robot walking through the daily routine without feeling the world. My head was filled with negative thoughts while putting up a smile is essential. I am like a Joker, but without the violent intentions.. Just pure negative thoughts.. So, all the negativities followed.. Take me awhile to realize it’s my lack of interest making my life less interesting, it’s my focus on pain making me hurting even more, and it’s all the dark thoughts bringing me all the bad luck! Law of Attraction.
2020 is here, and I need sunshine to make me better.
Wait.. let me rephrase..
2020, I will feel the sunshine.