我需要陽光
Look back on these 2 years, I don’t remember much but the time I sat beside my mom when she lay on the hospital bed. I still remember I was holding her hand and it was warm and turn stone cold right after her last gasp. I guess it’s comforting and a respectful thing to say that she passed away peacefully with no pain. But honestly, I really don’t know that because I am not her.
I haven’t felt peaceful for a long while after that, 2019 is just a glimpse, I was like a robot walking through the daily routine without feeling the world. My head was filled with negative thoughts while putting up a smile is essential. I am like a Joker, but without the violent intentions.. Just pure negative thoughts.. So, all the negativities followed.. Take me awhile to realize it’s my lack of interest making my life less interesting, it’s my focus on pain making me hurting even more, and it’s all the dark thoughts bringing me all the bad luck! Law of Attraction.
2020 is here, and I need sunshine to make me better.
Wait.. let me rephrase..
2020, I will feel the sunshine.
閉上眼回顧，最深的記憶點仍然停留在兩年前握著媽媽的手直到她嚥下最後一口氣的那一刻。2019這一年，宛如機器人般毫無知覺的走過日常，一轉眼間飛逝。大腦裡塞滿了負面思緒，但臉上卻習慣性的擺上了笑容。而這些負面思緒跟隨著負面情緒、態度與關係，沒多久我的生活被這些黑暗力量吞噬。
吸引力法則，這是在2019年末一個好朋友與我分享的生命定律。
2020年，我需要陽光來照亮我的生命。
不.. 應該修正..
2020，我將感受到陽光。
